The amount of good advice and wisdom that Mom and Dad have passed down to me over the years has been impressive. Perhaps it is more impressive how much of their advice has held up and been applicable long after it was initially given.
Mom once wrote to me while I was on my mission (probably replying to a long and whiny email about how hard I thought my life was). She gave me some advice to never “wish away my current circumstances” and that has always stuck with me. Just like how at any given point in our lives there are several things going wrong, it is also likely that there are several things going right that are unique to our current situation. I have often thought about this advice when I find myself focusing on all the things that are not going as I would have hoped. Despite the difficulties of these times, they are also filled with unique circumstances and opportunities that we can take advantage of.
Dad has also been a fountain of wisdom over the years and has helped through a great deal of problem solving, particularly regarding my education and finances. I remember when I was a senior in high school and I was unsure of whether I wanted to go on a mission at 18 or wait until I had done some school first. I have never been one to receive strong spiritual answers and have often found myself relying on the advice of others who are able to receive such answers. When I was worried about the decision of the timing of my mission, I remember Dad telling me that he felt that the Lord would support me in either decision as both were good choices. I often think about that advice he gave me when I am presented with multiple choices with no clear or superior answer. I have been grateful for a Dad who is still willing to take the time and walk through the decision-making process with me.
Mom and Dad give me so much advice that it's hard to choose just one piece to share. I have always loved that growing up they always encouraged the kids to do hard things. I find that it has given me a very positive outlook on my trials and everything I go through. When I am struggling I remember that doing things that are difficult will be for my benefit and that our trials are God-given. This advice has given me the courage to stand up for what I believe, push forward when I'm anxious, and admit when I'm wrong or need help. It gave me the strength I needed to come forward in the MTC and admit that I need help. Because of my experience doing hard things I know that even though it's hard, I will come out stronger because of it.
Mom and Dad never fail to support their kids when they are struggling. I'm so grateful that when they taught me to do hard things, they also showed me how to support someone who is doing somethings difficult too.
Mom and Dad are so good at giving advice! Two examples come to my mind: First, when Davis and I first got married we were panicking for months because we couldn't find an apartment no matter how hard we looked. We were so stressed and freaked out for months, then finally found the most perfect place ever at the VERY last minute. Dad was with us when we finalized it and told us to try to remember that situation whenever we get worried about anything in the future and use that memory to remind ourselves that everything works out in the end and that Heavenly Father always takes care of us, even if we can't see it until we're at the very end of a stressful situation. I think about that a lot and it helps me keep myself from getting overly worried and I can get myself to trust in happy outcomes. The second thing that comes to mind is Mom's theme of helping us all feel okay about being imperfect. When mom and dad came to stay with us at our apartment a few months ago, I didn't get nervous or stressed about them coming because I knew that even if the apartment wasn't perfectly clean or decorated, mom is so good at accepting things as they are and is never judgmental about anything like that. She makes me feel like everything I'm doing is completely adequate, even if it isn't perfect.
I think one of the biggest things I've learned from Mom and Dad was that I was my own person. I spent a lot of my life just thinking that I was defined by those around me, but they really helped me understand that I could be unique and have an impact on those around me, regardless of my relation to anyone. Another thing that really helped was growing up in an environment where it was okay for boys and men to have emotions, and there's nothing wrong with experiencing those. A lot of people out there are told to "man up" and "suck it up" and I'm really glad I was raised in an environment where that wasn't the case, and that there was always a solution to every problem, not matter the size.
Mom and dad are such great examples of reflecting on our experiences so that they become "stories" that can inform how we react to new situations in the future. One that comes to mind is dad's story about being nervous applying to PhD programs, and one of his mentors told him something along the lines of "The Lord has cradled you in the palm of his hands this far, what makes you think he is going to stop now?" In our marriage we have tried to follow that example to reflect and find patterns in our own histories with God. Even though the trials keep getting bigger, we also have a bigger library of memories to remind us that we have been in impossible situations before that have worked out so much "for our good" -- why would that stop here and now?
One piece of advice Mom gave me that sticks out is to never wish away where we are. There's always something to appreciate about our current circumstances and if we keep longing for what's to come next, we'll never really be happy. I remember that advice being really important to me my senior year of college when I was anxious to start my full-time job, and I would always try to appreciate the little things about being a college student that I would never get to do again.
Dad wrote me every week of my mission, and I always appreciated his perspective as a former missionary himself. One thing he wrote that has stuck with me is that people consider religion a crutch, but it's a crutch he gladly leans on. I think sometimes in a desire to seem respectable to the outside world, we want to give the impression that we LIKE our religion, but don't really NEED it. We're just as tough as anyone else without it. But that misses the whole point. What's the point of faith if it doesn't support you in hard times? If it doesn't prop you up when you need it most? Dad has always exemplified that paradoxical state of being stronger by relying on the Lord.
I think some of the best advice I have gotten from Mom and Dad was to not worry about my worries. I think we get caught up getting stressed about stuff that is out of our control and it really boggs us down. I am glad that Mom and Dad have taught us to worry about the important things in life and to not let some of the smaller stuff stress us out.
The amount of good advice and wisdom that Mom and Dad have passed down to me over the years has been impressive. Perhaps it is more impressive how much of their advice has held up and been applicable long after it was initially given.
ReplyDeleteMom once wrote to me while I was on my mission (probably replying to a long and whiny email about how hard I thought my life was). She gave me some advice to never “wish away my current circumstances” and that has always stuck with me. Just like how at any given point in our lives there are several things going wrong, it is also likely that there are several things going right that are unique to our current situation. I have often thought about this advice when I find myself focusing on all the things that are not going as I would have hoped. Despite the difficulties of these times, they are also filled with unique circumstances and opportunities that we can take advantage of.
Dad has also been a fountain of wisdom over the years and has helped through a great deal of problem solving, particularly regarding my education and finances. I remember when I was a senior in high school and I was unsure of whether I wanted to go on a mission at 18 or wait until I had done some school first. I have never been one to receive strong spiritual answers and have often found myself relying on the advice of others who are able to receive such answers. When I was worried about the decision of the timing of my mission, I remember Dad telling me that he felt that the Lord would support me in either decision as both were good choices. I often think about that advice he gave me when I am presented with multiple choices with no clear or superior answer. I have been grateful for a Dad who is still willing to take the time and walk through the decision-making process with me.
Mom and Dad give me so much advice that it's hard to choose just one piece to share. I have always loved that growing up they always encouraged the kids to do hard things. I find that it has given me a very positive outlook on my trials and everything I go through. When I am struggling I remember that doing things that are difficult will be for my benefit and that our trials are God-given. This advice has given me the courage to stand up for what I believe, push forward when I'm anxious, and admit when I'm wrong or need help. It gave me the strength I needed to come forward in the MTC and admit that I need help. Because of my experience doing hard things I know that even though it's hard, I will come out stronger because of it.
ReplyDeleteMom and Dad never fail to support their kids when they are struggling. I'm so grateful that when they taught me to do hard things, they also showed me how to support someone who is doing somethings difficult too.
Mom and Dad are so good at giving advice! Two examples come to my mind:
ReplyDeleteFirst, when Davis and I first got married we were panicking for months because we couldn't find an apartment no matter how hard we looked. We were so stressed and freaked out for months, then finally found the most perfect place ever at the VERY last minute. Dad was with us when we finalized it and told us to try to remember that situation whenever we get worried about anything in the future and use that memory to remind ourselves that everything works out in the end and that Heavenly Father always takes care of us, even if we can't see it until we're at the very end of a stressful situation. I think about that a lot and it helps me keep myself from getting overly worried and I can get myself to trust in happy outcomes.
The second thing that comes to mind is Mom's theme of helping us all feel okay about being imperfect. When mom and dad came to stay with us at our apartment a few months ago, I didn't get nervous or stressed about them coming because I knew that even if the apartment wasn't perfectly clean or decorated, mom is so good at accepting things as they are and is never judgmental about anything like that. She makes me feel like everything I'm doing is completely adequate, even if it isn't perfect.
I think one of the biggest things I've learned from Mom and Dad was that I was my own person. I spent a lot of my life just thinking that I was defined by those around me, but they really helped me understand that I could be unique and have an impact on those around me, regardless of my relation to anyone. Another thing that really helped was growing up in an environment where it was okay for boys and men to have emotions, and there's nothing wrong with experiencing those. A lot of people out there are told to "man up" and "suck it up" and I'm really glad I was raised in an environment where that wasn't the case, and that there was always a solution to every problem, not matter the size.
ReplyDeleteMom and dad are such great examples of reflecting on our experiences so that they become "stories" that can inform how we react to new situations in the future. One that comes to mind is dad's story about being nervous applying to PhD programs, and one of his mentors told him something along the lines of "The Lord has cradled you in the palm of his hands this far, what makes you think he is going to stop now?" In our marriage we have tried to follow that example to reflect and find patterns in our own histories with God. Even though the trials keep getting bigger, we also have a bigger library of memories to remind us that we have been in impossible situations before that have worked out so much "for our good" -- why would that stop here and now?
ReplyDeleteOne piece of advice Mom gave me that sticks out is to never wish away where we are. There's always something to appreciate about our current circumstances and if we keep longing for what's to come next, we'll never really be happy. I remember that advice being really important to me my senior year of college when I was anxious to start my full-time job, and I would always try to appreciate the little things about being a college student that I would never get to do again.
ReplyDeleteDad wrote me every week of my mission, and I always appreciated his perspective as a former missionary himself. One thing he wrote that has stuck with me is that people consider religion a crutch, but it's a crutch he gladly leans on. I think sometimes in a desire to seem respectable to the outside world, we want to give the impression that we LIKE our religion, but don't really NEED it. We're just as tough as anyone else without it. But that misses the whole point. What's the point of faith if it doesn't support you in hard times? If it doesn't prop you up when you need it most? Dad has always exemplified that paradoxical state of being stronger by relying on the Lord.
I think some of the best advice I have gotten from Mom and Dad was to not worry about my worries. I think we get caught up getting stressed about stuff that is out of our control and it really boggs us down. I am glad that Mom and Dad have taught us to worry about the important things in life and to not let some of the smaller stuff stress us out.
ReplyDelete